Girl, Stop Being Mean - Defending the Girl, Stop Apologizing Author Rachel Hollis


I wish I could be fancy to say that I got an advanced copy of this book because I’m a big time  blogger….but no. I bought and read it in 2 days.

I was tipped off in a  Mompreneur (yes, I use that word and yes I understand that the term dadpreneurs don’t exist ) Facebook group that apparently Barnes and Nobles had these books out for sale earlier than they were supposed to. It was a just an earnest mom sharing good news, just like how I do when I see Rao’s pasta sauce on sale, and tell you GOOO!! Get yours! I man, can’t a sista just help another sista out?

But instead of the influx of high ten emoji’s that I thought this mom would get on her post,  a lot of people took this opportunity to be on the bus of hating on Ms Rachel Hollis. And hello, I am not on that bus. They were mean and it was sorry. Some started saying some awful things and the village of mean girls came out. Hiding behind their keyboards and discouraging others from discovering Rachel on their own, not cool. They were saying things about her last book or about her “undeserving” success. And as I was reading the hate mail….in a group for moms who are looking to create their own business….it made me ill. Side note, I am already ill with the flu, so this made me even more mad. I digress.

Some of the things they accused her of was being entitled. Some said  she plagerized. Some felt she bragged too much. Some felt her husband’s paycheck meant was the only reason why she got where she is. And it went on and on…

And so I ask you, why are we dragging this woman down,  when it is her CLEAR mission to build women up?  You don’t like her book? Great! Don’t buy it. You don’t like her personality? Great, she is not the person to follow. But don’t knock on someone’s mission with the mission is a good one.

So let’s take this on, one by one.  

Claim 1: She’s entitled: How? By working her tail off and first being an event planner, and then writer, and then creating a media company on her own? She built it! She was the one getting the luxury weddings. She was the one pitching her book around. She was the one speaking at any free event to get practice before no becoming a highly paid motivational speaker. She is the one building her brand. Why you hating? She did not pick up bread crumbs from someone before her or had doors open left and right. She created her opportunities, and she teaches us…SO CAN YOU.

Claim 2: She brags too much: I disagree. By sharing her success, she shows the evidence to back up her claims on how to create a life just as she has.  On a daily basis, she gives tools and tips on how to move ahead in your life or how to get unstuck. And in order to show you the proof in the pudding, she has to tell you her  wins! She is not just saying, “Look at me! I have a life where we can afford a full time housekeeper and you’ll never get there. You suck!”  She is saying, being intentional on how you spend your time, reverse engineer your goals, and don’t quit and you can get here too.

Claim 3: Husband’s paycheck means she didn’t work hard:  Having her husband provide a roof over her head while she builds her empire does not dilute her sweat equity in any of this. 

You know what makes my blood boil? When other influencers don’t pull back the curtain to SHARE about the reality of building a business of blog. Or the blogger who has the perfect feed, with no depth, yet no one is hating on them! And then there is Rachel. She is exposing her realities and she does this more than any other influencer I know with that type of platform, and she is getting crushed. Give me a fricken break.

Rachel is a mom of 4. She doesn’t deny that she has help. I agree, get help or get creative in how to find time for your goals. This is not a bad thing! She doesn’t deny marital issues. She doesn’t deny not enjoying volunteering at her kids’ schools. She doesn’t deny having a college education. She shares that she was 14 years old when her brother committed suicide. She shared how she had to self-publish her first book and it took a lot of will to keep going. She talks about adopting her daughter. She talks about how important it is to date your husband. How important it is to communicate over how to have great sex. She talks about not knowing how to read a P&L sheet and how she overcomes everything. She figures is out and does the work. She says to wake up earlier before you kids and do the work. Get healthy. Get up when you fail. She reminds us if someone says no (as in no publisher took on her first book), find another way (she self published it).   I mean, she sounds like a terrible person you guys.

 Overall, I love Rachel Hollis and for those who don’t, that’s ok. But please don’t knock a woman down who is the brave one to put herself out there. If you think of all the female influencers or motivational speakers out there who break down their success so you can have the same, how many do you come up with? Yes, there are people who motivate and give us inspiration….but who gives the tools, the play by play, the 1,2,3 guide to going after your life? And for free? Her podcast is free. Her instagram is free. Her Youtube videos are free. Her daily live show, free. And if you want to spend some money for her book, you pay. If you want to see her at a conference, you pay. And she was smart to make her conference a documentary, so for the price of a movie ticket you got to see her in the trenches with the attendees. I saw her movie, TWICE (took my husband the 2nd time). But you can take all of her lessons for FREE and actually move the needle in your life. And for that alone, she should not apologize one stinkin bit.

And yes, she puts on conferences and oh no, she makes money from them! How dare she! How dare she become successful off of attendees who love being in the same room and being motivated by her. Why not look at her success as motivation to take what you have to offer the world and make it your mission and your platform?

Why are criticizing a woman who has a heart to challenge and motivate other women? Because she charges?  Maybe she is inspiring other women to charge what they deserve cause what would that look like? She gives space and tools for a women who has been traumatized from her past able to find peace and look at life in a way that empowers her.

By golly, girls…stop being mean. Rachel is seriously just trying to help.